


Opening the Door

by griito



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Gen, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-07
Updated: 2014-10-09
Packaged: 2018-01-11 12:02:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1172838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/griito/pseuds/griito
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erwin x Titan!Reader</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which it is opened.

A cool breeze came in through your open window, carrying with it the smell of summer. You could hear the chirping of birds in the distance as you sat at the table and gazed into the deepness of the forest, an open book sprawled out in front of you.

It was mid-afternoon and the sun was bright, begging you to let it warm your skin with it's soft touch. Smiling to yourself, you stood up as you decided that a cup of your favourite tea would go so fittingly with this perfectly quite afternoon.

The gentle wind that came in intervals was inviting you into a journey as you watched the way the branches and leaves shook under it's strength. Maybe when the sun went down you would be able to step outside for a short while, escaping your confines for only a moment.

As you made your way back towards the table you felt a more powerful gust of wind come through the still open window, blowing the pages of your open book rapidly. You rushed yourself over, placing the cup of tea down as you attempted to regain your lost page quickly.

Sitting down as you concentrated, a flash of colour passed the corner of your eyes. You shot your head up and were met with another pair, small and black, staring curiously back into yours from the ledge of the window.

“Hello there. And where did you come from?” You smiled as you spoke to the small creature as it flapped it's bright coloured wings, inching forward with little hops. You placed your hand on the table in hopes of being able to hold the small bird for a while before it would decide to leave you alone once more.

A few louder chirps could be heard and before you knew it, your new friend had taken off. Had he been called back by his friends, perhaps? You couldn't help but giggle a little to yourself at the thought of their possible camaraderie. 

The world was surprisingly simple, wasn't it? Things like friendship and family existed throughout nature time and time again.

It was only you that was the exception to that phenomenon, wasn't it? You were the strange one. Something that could not be understood.

Where other species found comfort in being together, you were here alone. A small house for one in the middle of the forest, as far away from anybody's attention as possible. There were no prying eyes or whispers here – just the solitude of the forest and your own thoughts.

Not once had anyone came to knock on the small, wooden door of the house you called home.

You took a sip of the tea you had been taught to make as a child, from a woman you had once referred to as your “mother”. Whether that was the actual case or not, you were now unsure.

The warm liquid felt like silk as it traveled gently down your throat. A sharp contrast to the rough thoughts that plagued your mind once more on this average day.

_“That kid – it's a damn monster!”_

Regardless of the memories you held, the reality was that you now lived out your days in solitude. Sometimes you felt angry, enraged by the actions taken by the others around you. Sometimes you felt lonely, sadden by the look of fear on their faces.

And yet you had been the one to confine yourself here – this punishment was your own.

Because you understood.

You were the strange one. It was an issue too complicated for others to understand – hell, you didn't understand it yourself. But you knew that you were the one who needed to leave.

You remembered clearly the face of the man you had referred to as your “father”. The kindness he had shown you and the warmth of his strong arms.

The pain in his eyes and the trembling of his hands.

_“How could you bring that thing into our home? It's going to kill us!”_

You were unsure of what it was that you were supposed to feel as you looked into your past.

You brought the cup once more to your lips and let the scent of your favourite concoction fill your nose and clear your head. You took another sip, focusing on the relaxing sensation that came with it.

You had already made your decision and it was much too late to turn back now. Not that you were able anymore, either.

For the fact that you were, undoubtedly, a monster was something you knew all too well yourself.

You had already resigned yourself to your self-imposed confinement as well as the loneliness that came with it. You now lived out your days here, gazing longingly out of the single window as you read the same few books you kept over and over again.

_Hey Dad... Is it okay if I still want to see the world? Will you forgive me for holding onto these impossible dreams?_

You ventured outside rarely, only free from your solitary for the moments that it took for you to stock up on water from the small river and gather what food you were able. They were simple, small moments of freedom and yet you treasured them all the same.

You stood up, pulling the window to a near close and tugging the curtains shut. Strange, wasn't it? That the frame you spent hours staring so longingly out of was such a clear reminder of the freedom you would never have. It was your biggest happiness and your worst nightmare in one.

With it's view blocked, however, you were able to lose yourself inside of your own fantasies for a while. You were able to pretend that your lone house was actually one of many in a simple neighborhood. You could pack a lunch for the picnic you and your childhood friend from the house over were planning or you could make dinner to surprise your father for when he came home from a long day of work in the evening.

As you sat around the dinner table you would speak of his troubles at work and the gossip from the old lady down the street. You would talk about your dreams of travelling the world; it's vast space yours to conquer. About how the future was still bright and so full of possibilities just lying in wait.

_“Your future is waiting for you, ____. You just have to be sure to open the door when it finally knocks.”_

“Maybe... knock...”

A small whisper cut into your thoughts suddenly causing you to snap your head up in alarm. Was that your imagination?

“Don't... signal...”

Had someone just been _speaking_?

You stood up in half panic, bumping your leg against the table as you rushed from your seat towards the door. You placed a ear against the wood, your palms already covered in a light layer of sweat.

You felt every thump of a fist against the wood as it resounded loudly through your ear.

Your eyes were wide as you backed away, frantically running your vision across all areas of the room.

_What am I supposed to do?_

With no other options you crawled, terrified, underneath the table you had just been sitting so peacefully at mere seconds ago. You had no time to clean the half-empty cup of tea as it had spilled over the table and created a small puddle at the base of furniture.

The deadly silence was interrupted by much-too-loud drip of the liquid as it fell past your vision. Curled up in the corner and frightened, your mind was racing.

_It's too loud. They'll hear it. If I just put my hand out and catch the drops it'll be okay, right?_

The sound of the a small drop of liquid that fell roughly onto the tip of your finger was drowned out by the loud creak of hinges as the door was opened.

Startled, you quickly pulled your hands back and over top of your mouth.

_I have to calm down or they'll hear me. Breathe normal, me! Please!_

From your position you could only just see the two sets of large boots as they made their way inside, pausing only for a moment. You could feel the way your body trembled and hoped that, for the sake of your life, the feet that stopped in front of you to inspect the spilled liquid would believe that you had escaped out of the window instead of cowering like a child down below.

The seconds that those legs stood in front of you were menacing by every definition of the word. Your breath caught and you didn't have the ability to close your widened eyes as you watched the man lean forward. His knees bend. His waist come into view followed quickly by his chest and arms.

A head of neat, blonde hair as he inspected the puddle before you.

You could feel the almost long forgotten sting of tears behind your eyes as you noticed his body tense and his gaze lift. A pair of deep, light blue eyes met your wide and trembling ones.

As he stared directly at you, you could feel the warmth of tears as they began to fall down your cheeks.

_They found me. They're going to kill me. I'm so sorry, dad._

You vision blurred as you heard the sound of more footsteps making their way towards you. You shook your head, finally releasing your cries into an audible form as you wept into your knees.

“Hey, there's no need to be scared.” A voice spoke from directly in front of you and you looked up into those same blue eyes once more. Through your watery vision you could see the makings of a small smile on his face as he outstretched an arm towards you. “Nobody will hurt you. Why not come on out from there?”

You shook your head once more, pushing yourself further against the hard wood of the walls.

“My name is Erwin Smith from the Survey Corps. You can trust me, ____.”

“H-how do you know my name?” Your voice shook as you spoke in surprise.

“Your father told me. Why don't we talk for a little while?” You blinked your eyes and saw clearly now the inviting smile he wore. It was the same as when the sun called you outside with it's warmth.

“My f-father? Then... you know what I am?” Your hand shook even more violently than your voice as you lifted it, stopping to question the man before you would accept his still outstretched palm.

“I do, ____. I promise that no one will hurt you this time, either.” With another flash a smile, the hand you held above his was taken into his grasp. “I'll protect you, ____.”

You nodded as he tugged on your hand, helping you stand as you crawled out of your hiding spot. You wiped your eyes once more on your sleeve, feeling a little less frightened at the mention of your father.

When you opened your eyes, however, you noticed the group of men that had entered your small home all staring directly at you and the fear quickly returned. You froze with your feet rooted in spot.

_What do you want from me? Stop glaring at me like that!_

Perhaps the man with the blue eyes took notice of your fear and he smiled down at you, giving a squeeze of your hand to remind you of his words. You hesitated, taking another look around the room, but his smile never wavered. You gave a small nod and he led you around the table, pulling the single chair out for you to sit on.

“Are you scared, ____?” He spoke again as you stared up at him. You nodded. “I understand. We all are, though. So wouldn't it be better to live without that fear?”

What was he talking about? Of course it would be better if you could live without fear. You nodded once more.

“In order to do that, ____, we need your help. Will you hear me out?” His blue eyes bore into you and you broke away, glancing once more around the room as your eyes landed on the still open door that the men had entered from.

_“You just have to be sure to open the door when it finally knocks.”_

Did it still count if you weren't the one to open it?

You turned back and met his eyes once more. The man in front of you gave off an aura of strength. When you looked into those eyes, it was as if you truly had nothing to be afraid of anymore.

They held hope and expectation. They held strength and capability. Knowledge and freedom.

Reflected in those light blue eyes were all of the things you were in such desperate need of.

“I-I understand. Tell me how I can help.”


	2. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which it is given.

“Are you okay back there, _____? I apologize for not preparing a more suitable transportation for you.” The man named Erwin spoke over his shoulder as he handed you a small canteen of water. 

“I-I'm okay. Thank you.” You weren't quite accustomed to horse back anymore since it had been well over ten years or so that you had last seen one. You remembered that your father would sometimes let you come along on his trips and how much you had enjoyed the long rides back then.

“That's good. Just relax for a while and let me know if you start to feel uncomfortable at all. Make sure to hold on tightly, okay?” You nodded and he turned forward again, snapping the reigns he held to increase the horse’s speed. The other men followed quickly behind, keeping pace and staying in relatively close distance from their trusted Commander.

Or at least, you assumed he was trusted. Why else would they be so accepting of someone like you riding with them? And without any sort of confines to top it off. You had expected to hear whispers and complaints but they had yet to come. Was the man before you so capable that everyone felt you posed no threat to him? Enough that even he had no fear even as you wrapped your arms around his waist, riding on his horse?

Or perhaps it was just the opposite? There was also the possibility that he had kept you beside him on purpose in case something went astray. It'd be easier to stop you if he was close by after all. Just as easily as you could kill him, he could do the same for you.

But... he said they needed your help so that wouldn't happen, right? You tried to reassure yourself but you couldn't deny the possibilities before you. If you had learned anything in all your years of life thus far, it was caution.

The fact that you were suddenly surrounded by a group of people after being alone for so many years wasn't helping with your nerves, either. 

The only thing that was familiar was the looks you received from the surrounding soldiers. You would probably never forget that look no matter how long lived. Feeling that your throat was getting a little dry, you took a sip from the water Erwin had provided you.

_“I have to be frank, ____. We're losing this war and you're our only option. Would you mind coming along with us back to a base outside this forest? We can have a more detailed discussion there."_

_“Go with you? B-but... I can't leave...”_

_“I understand your hesitation, ____. But our situation is dire and we need you to help us. If you don't, we just might lose everything. No one will harm you.”_

“M-Mr. Smith?” You spoke after a few minutes of silence. He glanced his eyes in your direction only briefly to acknowledge that he had heard you.

“Erwin is fine, ____.”

“Ah, right, sorry. Then, Mr. Erwin... Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course. You must have tons of them, huh?”

“I was just wondering... about my father. Is he well?” You tried to lean your head over to glimpse at the taller man in front of you but you couldn't manage to get a good view. Perhaps he noticed your movement, though, for after a moment he turned his head towards you briefly with a small smile.

“We can talk about that when we stop for the night, okay? It will take us some time to travel all the way back so we'll take a small break when the sun sets. Will that be acceptable?” His face showed kindness and yet something about his words was unsettling, making you feel displeased at the vague reply.

_“Father said they'd kill me if I leave...”_

_“I said I'd protect you, didn't I? You'll be safe with us.”_

But if your father had been the one to tell these people of your location – of your existence – it would mean he was at least alive, right? It would be okay to trust these people for now, wouldn't it? It didn't seem as if they planned to harm you at least.

You tried to avoid the fearful looks and glares that the others gave you and instead focus on the warmth of one Erwin Smith. You couldn't say you trusted him completely just yet – and if you were being completely honest with yourself, you might have just been looking for an excuse to finally escape your confines – but you decided to believe in the things he had told you for now.

For the look he gave you was one without fear. And that was your biggest comfort in over ten years.

You decided that for the sake of caution you would let the issue slide for now. You probably didn't have too much choice in the matter, anyways.

You let out a small sigh, unconsciously resting your head on the broad back in front of you. Your thoughts were just too much of a mess to realize the overly comfortable action.

_“Your ability... have you ever used it while out here?”_

_“When I was younger, yes. There was one time – it must have been only two weeks since I found this house. I was out trying to find food because I was starving and there was an animal. It was bigger than me and I couldn't run fast enough and I kept falling everywhere. I was scared.”_

_“And since then?”_

_“I used it a few times to get the fruit that was too high up. I've learned to climb since then, though.”_

_“How long has it been?”_

_“I only used it during the first year. I realized quickly that the size of... my transformation... increased as I began to regain my health. I'm not sure if it was that or perhaps it's something that happens the more I use it? I couldn't tell you. I stopped because I was scared someone would see the smoke.”_

_“So then, you can control it? I heard that you can turn at will through self-inflicted injury.”_

_“At will is kind of... I guess that's mostly true. There are times in which I didn't chose it, though.”_

_“So it's not predictable?”_

_“Ah, well, I wouldn't say that. I just meant that I didn't always make the decision consciously. For example, the first time in the woods – my injuries weren't self-inflicted. My body was already so weak from the hunger and I kept falling over. I cut my legs and arms up pretty badly on the branches and rocks. Mixed with the fact that I was running for my life... it just happened. I don't remember anything from during my transformation, though.”_

_“So you aren't conscious while in your Titan form?”_

_“Only when I didn't choose it. When I chose to turn on my own I had control.”_

_“Your father told me that the first time you transformed was when you were being bullied by some other children down the back field of your home. Was that conscious?”_

_“I... don't remember it. I remember waking up and seeing the blood. It was hot and I didn't know what where I was at first... and mother, she was screaming so loud. I remember the physical pain being gone but my head was spinning.”_

_“Any other symptoms? What happened next?”_

_“I could see mother crying and so I went to her. I still didn't know what had happened so I didn't understand why she looked so scared as I approached her... She started screaming for father and I was so worried something had happened to her. I ran to her, I wanted to help her... And she pushed me away, screaming and crying. Then father came outside.”_

“_____?” Your name was called suddenly, causing your eyes to shoot open. Erwin's face was only a few inches from your own and you instinctively backed up, only to realize your path was blocked. 

Shifting your gaze rapidly through your surroundings you noticed the sun had already set and you were no longer on horseback. You also too note the soldiers in the distance behind Erwin and the sound of running water – did they decide to give the horses a break? The wall behind you was, to your relief, just a tree and you noticed also that you had been wrapped in someone jacket. Looking down at the green fabric and then back up at Erwin it was clear who the large cape belonged to.

“D-did I fall asleep?” You spoke when Erwin continued to stare at you from an uncomfortably close distance. Shifting nervously under his gaze you pulled the fabric from your shoulders, trying to find any excuse to look away. What was he staring at, anyways? It was as if he was studying you. What was he looking for?

“You were probably tired from everything that's happened, huh?” Erwin spoke up after a moment, smiling at you kindly and raising himself to stand straight. He offered a hand to help you up, “I'm sure this is all probably overwhelming to you so suddenly.”

“It's... unexpected, I guess.” You couldn't help but wonder if it was even okay for you to be here – or to be interacting with others again like this. You were so unsure and your worries were so overpowering that it almost felt as if you were just being carried by the waves of wind rather than making conscious decisions.

“I can understand your nerves, ____, but you'll be okay with us.” Erwin bent down to your level once more when you didn't take his hand.

“O-Okay.” You gave a nod. “Hey, Mr. Erwin?”

“You should drop the “Mr.” already, _____. You're making me feel like an old man. Although I suppose in your eyes I might be just that, huh?” Shifting around and letting out a sigh, Erwin moved himself to sit next you against the large tree rather than in front of you.

“No, I don't think you're old! But... father told me once that it's rude to be overly-friendly with people you don't know and-” What were you even talking about? Was conversation always this difficult?

“It's okay, _____. What did you want to say?” Somehow that tone he spoke with made it seem as if he hadn't even noticed that he had just cut you off mid-sentence. You had definitely said something strange, right? It had been so long since you had been around others that you found putting your thoughts into words a little more nerve-racking then they probably should have been. After all, for the first time in over ten years your voice was being heard by more than just a bird on the window frame.

“Ah, uhm... I wanted to ask about my father again. Since you said we could talk when we took a break...” You were aware that you were being overly self-conscious but that was too be expected, right? Just yesterday this whole situation would have been impossible for even your wildest imagination.

“I apologize for that, ____. It seemed more appropriate to have this conversation face to face instead since it's obvious you still care for your father.” Despite his words Erwin was staring forward instead of looking into your eyes.

“Then... something happened to him?” You asked the question even though you were unsure if you wanted to hear the answer.

“Your father was killed, ____. I'm sorry.” He turned to face you before saying the words you had already half expected.

“Killed? B-by who? Why?” Only half expected.

“The situation is still under investigation so I can't tell you anything about who it was just yet, but he was travelling with a few of my men to get into hiding when they were ambushed. Your father was cornered and killed along with my men that were escorting him.” His facial expression never changed as he spoke and yet you felt as if you could see a hint of something akin to pity in his eyes.

“Into hiding? Was he in danger?” Perhaps you should be a little bit more worried about your own situation... If someone had been after your father – the only reason you could think of would be that your existence had been revealed. Did other people already know about you as well?

“We had reason to believe that he would be targeted, yes.” His tone made it hard for you to question him further.

“...I understand.” You nodded, unsure of how to react. You cared for your father still, of course; the man had provided you with more than you could have ever asked. Or wanted.

“...You're taking the news better than expected, ____.” Erwin's tone seemed slightly surprised although his facial expression hadn't changed.

“I guess... because I haven't seen him in years. I've spent the last decade unsure of whether he was still alive or not, anyways... so I guess I was prepared?” You had always hoped you would be able see him once more before the end of your life, though. There were so many things you wanted to say; so many questions you needed to ask.

“I see. I'm sorry we couldn't protect him.” Would you be able to find the answers if you cooperated with this man? Even though he was from a section of the military?

“It's okay. Thank you for letting me know.” You held out the cloth you were still holding onto with a smile that probably looked as forced as it was. Not that you were particularly displeased with anything... but rather, you weren't sure what to feel.

“Your father told me that he sent you into hiding when your circumstances became known in the town. He said that you would definitely still be somewhere deep within this forest.” Erwin continued the conversation, making no move to stop you or accept his cape back from you.

“Yeah... “ You let your hands drop back to your lap, “Maybe it was because she fainted shortly after or something, but father was somehow able to convince mother that she was mistaken the first time. Although I suspect that she never really believed him, deep down. She always looked at me with fear in her eyes after that. The others in town, too – the parents of those children... I think they always blamed me. I overheard mother calling me names in the town one day so I think they all believed I must have been some sort of demon like she said. Then when it happened again years later, it was impossible to lie again. When father said he wouldn't just kill me like mother asked, she was angry. She said she was going to get someone in the military.”

“And so your father saved you, correct?”

“He grabbed my hand and we ran. When we made it to the edge of the forest he told me that I would be safe if I could just make it to the house on the other side. He said that it was far but once I made it, I could live in peace.” How many years had you spent regretting the way that scene had played out?

“You were only just a teenager, though. Weren't you scared?”

“I was terrified. I didn't know what was happening and I kept asking him over and over again what I did wrong. Why I was like this...” You never asked for this. This life, this ability... Wouldn't it have been better to just do as mother had asked? You hated the memory of the look you saw in your fathers eyes that day.

“What did he tell you?”

“He said that it wasn't my fault. He told me that I didn't deserve to be killed just for being this way. Hey, do you think he knew? I mean, before it happened...”

“...I couldn't say.” Erwin hesitated for only a second before answering.

“Yeah... he was scared of me too, you know? I can't remember that transformation either but for some reason his face is so vivid in my head. I've never seen him look so terrified.”

“But he still protected you?”

“Yes.”

“Then, have you been in that house all these years?” You gave a nod and Erwin paused for a moment, “You didn't want to escape?”

“Well... of course there were days I wanted to run away. But where could I go? I was already alone so what would I be running away from? Only father knew where I was and for all I know, he could have been killed in my place. So I was safe there, at least.”

“You weren't angry at him for not being there for you? Or for not explaining anything?”

“I was angry... and sad. But father – he still cared for me despite the fact that I was like this. He told me that I didn't deserve to die, even though I doubt even he would have been able to deny that I'm a monster. Even though he looked so scared... father never looked at me with hatred.” You were thankful for all your father had done for you... and yet you couldn't help but resent him for it a little, too.

Because you had never wanted any of this.

“He was brave. He tried his best to help us, too. I'm sorry we weren't able to keep him safe.” Erwin apologized once more with that same stoic look on his face. 

You managed another smile, “It's not your fault.”

“...Should we get going soon?” Erwin stood up once more, “I'm going to check on the others so stay here for a second until I come back for you. Ah, here's your water, too.”

“Thank you.” You nodded, taking the canteen and holding out the man's jacket once more.

“It's cold out so why don't you hold on to it,” Erwin spoke as he turned around; his words came across as more of a statement rather than question.

“Uhm!” You called out without really thinking about it, “Thank you for taking the time to speak with me about it, E-Erwin.”

“I'm glad you decided to trust me, ____.”


	3. Unfamiliar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which it is set.

As the sun began to rise in the distance, a small compound came into view. An old building, it seemed, but large enough in size to house a few hundred men at least.

“Is that where we're headed?” You asked as Erwin slowed the pace of his horse down to a small trot.

“It is. I told you we had a place not to far, didn't I?” Erwin responded without looking back.

“Will... there be other people there?” You asked a bit quietly, hoping that you wouldn't come across as terrified by the prospect as you so obviously were.

“There will be. They won't hurt you, though – I promise.” Even if you had been the least bit convincing, you were somehow sure Erwin probably would have been smart enough to notice anyways.

“O-okay.” You gave a nod lacking in confidence as the building grew larger in size with each step closer. How many people would be there? Did they all know you were coming? Did they know what you were? Would they be waiting behind the doors?

You found yourself unable to calm down as Erwin stopped the horse in front of the large gates. Perhaps noticing your hesitation, he jumped off of the horse before you and outstretched his hand in your direction.

“Shall we go inside, ____?” You gave another nod, letting his larger hands envelop your almost shaking ones as he helped you dismount slowly. A solider came from behind and grabbed the horse's reigns, leading it away from where you were standing stock still in front of the doors.

“It'll be okay, ____. I'm here.” Erwin gave a light squeeze of the hand he still held in his as the door began to open, revealing the large number of soldiers standing in wait. You shuffled slightly, trying to stay behind Erwin as he led you through the crowd of murmurs. Closing your eyes and letting Erwin's hand guide you, you tired your hardest to block out the words that floated all to easily into your ears.

“Erwin! I heard the commotion and figured you were back. How'd it go?” As Erwin's hand slipped out of yours, you could hear an excited voice call out as you entered the building. Was it a woman? You couldn't see what they looked like from your position of safety behind the broad back you had began to familiarize yourself with.

“It went well, I'd say. Why don't you call the other squad leaders and we'll have a meeting in my office – I'll explain the details there.”

“Huh? Introduce me first! Where is she? I want to meet the-”

“Hanji! Go now.” Erwin raised his voice, causing you to flinch slightly as he cut off the other voice before she had a chance to finish her sentence.

“Understood.” After a moment of silence until you heard the voice respond, followed by footsteps rushing away from your position. When they were far enough that you were unable to hear them anymore, Erwin let out a sigh.

“I'm sorry – did I scare you?” He turned around to face you as he asked.

“N-no. I'm okay.” You tried to answer steadily although your nerves hadn't died down in the least. Would you ever get used to being around others again? You had grown so accustomed to your loneliness that it was now the norm for you. All of these people; all of the voices and eyes – it was like a completely foreign experience for you.

“That's good then. Do you mind if I ask you for a favor, ____?” Erwin bent his knees as he leaned forward to meet your height in an attempt to look a little less menacing as he towered over you. You felt like a child as he did so, reminding you of how you father often used to crouch down to your level when he was speaking when you were younger.

“W-what is it?” You were cautious of his serious tone.

“I need to talk with the others for a while so can I ask you to wait for me? It won't take long.”

“Alone? I can't come with you? Will there be people guarding me?” Erwin had been the only comfort in this completely new environment so you couldn't say you weren't afraid of being separated all of a sudden.

_It's not like I know him or anything about him either, though..._

“I guess you can come along... but there's going to be a lot of people and I didn't want to overwhelm you like that. Wouldn't you be more comfortable waiting instead of standing in front of everyone? I won't stick you with some random guards, either, since you'll probably feel more at home if you're alone.” Erwin straightened up once more as he tried to give you assurance.

“Y-yeah... okay. I'll wait.” You had to admit that it was more appealing than walking into a room of people you didn't know once more.

“Thanks, ____.” Erwin's large palm gently ruffled the top of your head as he gave a smile so faint that you almost missed it. “I'm sorry that I didn't prepare a room for you beforehand so would you mind waiting in mine?”

You nodded as Erwin grabbed your hand in his once more, leading you down the hall at a slightly quicker pace than before. You hadn't thought he looked too much older than you but it would appear that he saw you as more of a child than anything, wouldn't it? Turning a few corners, he finally slowed to a stop in front of a door somewhere deep within the building.

“Here.” He opened the door, revealing a practically bare room. With the expectation of a dresser at one wall and a desk at another, there wasn't much of anything in the room besides the bed and an incredibly messy bookshelf. “I'll probably be quick but feel free to read a book or take a nap if your tired. It's not anything special but I'm sure it's more comfortable than my back was so rest up a little, okay?”

“Okay. Thank you, Erwin.” You spoke as he placed a hand on the small of your back, nudging you gently forward into the room.

“Then, I'll be going. I'll come back for you soon.” Erwin spoke without waiting for you to respond, shutting the door behind him and leaving you alone once more.

Letting out a small breath, you felt your nerves finally begin to calm down a little. No one would come in here, right? You were safe just like he promised, right?

Letting yourself relax for the first time since you arrived, you took a seat on Erwin's bed. You really had gotten used to solitude, hadn't you? You felt more comfortable between these four walls than you probably had since leaving your small home yesterday.

_It's barely been a day... Am I ever going to be able to get used to this again? Maybe if Father was here it'd be easier..._

Or maybe that would've make it even harder. Would he even have had the answers you wanted so desperately? It was entirely possible that your father had been just has clueless as you were about your “condition”.

_I should ask Erwin about what Father told him..._

Thinking about it, Erwin hadn't told you much of anything yet. He had asked for your help and told you about your father's death, but for the most part it was you who had been doing the talking.

_But he listened. He knows what I am and he doesn't look at me like the others do... I can trust him, right?_

He had been the first person to hear your voice in over 10 years. He had been the first person to know of your situation and not look at you with contempt or fear. That had to count for something, didn't it? You wanted to believe that you had made the right decision by coming along with him.

Letting out another sigh, your eyes began to wander as you tried to clear your head from paranoia.

Now that you thought about it, though, was it okay for you to be in here? You looked over from the desk to the bookshelf – it didn't look like it but what if he kept important documents in here or something? Did he really trust you enough to leave you alone in his room like this? And without guards, too?

_He probably just doesn't have anything related to work in here, I guess... And it's not like I'm the enemy so it's fine... It's fine. I can put my faith in him..._

Removing your poor excuse for footwear, you decided it'd be best to try to get a little rest. You weren't particularly tired, honestly, but you figured it'd be better than sitting around in someone else's room with the risk of your curiosity getting the better of you.

_They need my help so I'm safe, right? I'm safe, I'm fine..._

Pulling the covers up, you caught the strong scent of Erwin Smith once more and found it was somehow calming to you, actually, in the midst of this unfamiliar environment.

_He's not lying to me... I made the right decision, didn't I? I'm not in danger here. It's fine..._

Trying to expel your worries for the sake of your sanity, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath.

_I can trust you, right, Erwin?_


	4. Chapter Four: First Impressions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which it is built.

Despite your best efforts to rest, you found it harder than you first hoped. After tossing and turning for a while you had managed to drift off for a short time, at least, but you were sure no more than 15 or so minutes had passed until you found yourself wide awake once more.

Apparently the comfort of the silence only lasted so long, as well.

_I should have gone with him._

You didn't like the idea much but at least you could have possibly gotten some more answers. What was going to happen to you from here on out? You didn't feel as if Erwin had deceived you when he had asked for your help, but what exactly would they have you do? You weren't even able to control your “power” in the first place. What good would you serve?

You sure as hell hadn't fought anyone before, either. Could you really be the key to winning this war?

Although Erwin had given you a rough idea of the events that took place after you had gone into hiding, there was still a lot you wanted to know.

_Maybe he has some books in here about it all?_

Deciding to take a quick peek at the messy bookshelf, you lifted yourself from Erwin's bed. Giving a quick stretch of your muscles, you sat down and reached for your footwear. They were a poor excuse for cover, honestly – torn and tattered from the years of harsh conditions – but they were all you had. In honest, you had stopped caring all that much a few years back, so you only wore them on the rare occasion you ventured farther than the river where the sharper rocks would injure your feet. Eventually you got used to climbing without them, too, so they hadn't been much use to you for quite some time.

Yet, you had forced your feet into them when Erwin asked you to get ready.

_It's not like a pair of old, dirty shoes was going to make me look anymore presentable, though..._

Somehow you had found yourself a little embarrassed by the old clothing and tough soles when asked if you were ready to leave. Not that you had much of anything else, though. A few pathetic attempts at home-made clothing that you had fashioned over the years was the only “wardrobe” you owned, and in truth you weren't sure which was more unpleasant.

You had decided to leave everything behind besides the books that had been in the cabin when you arrived, since you were unsure if you would have the opportunity to go back or not. You had somehow came to consider them a sort of parting gift from your father, honestly. You had read and re-read them over so many times you could probably reproduce them from memory by now. Maybe you should have asked Erwin to let you keep them with you to pass the time.

“____?” A knock on the door and Erwin's increasingly familiar voice broke your thoughts.

“Ah, yes! I'm here!” You responded a little nervously. You hadn't answered a door in over a decade, after all. You fumbled a little towards the door to let the man in.

“Ah, you're awake. Do you mind if we come in?” You paused with your hand on the doorknob at Erwin's question.

_We? It's not just him? Who else is with him? Other soldiers? The ones that came with him earlier? The lady from earlier? The people he was talking to just now?_

You snapped your hands to either side of your face, trying to calm your thoughts. There was no point in you freaking out like this, right?

Taking a few steps back, you breathed deeply. “Y-yes.”

Your jaw was clenched almost as tightly as your knuckles as the doorknob turned slowly. You could hear the squeak of the hinges as Erwin pushed forward, opening the door on your solitary confines for the second time.

“____? Are you okay?” Erwin spoke from the door way, blocking your view of the people he had brought with him for now.

“Ah, yes, sorry! I'm okay!” You answered when you realized how strange you must have looked standing just a few feet from the door.

“That's good. I thought you were glaring at me since I left you all alone.” Erwin gave a small smile, taking a step towards you. You wanted to correct him and tell him that wasn't the case but you weren't given the chance, cut off by the woman following immediately behind Erwin.

“____! I'm so happy to finally meet you!” With a large smile, the brown haired woman approached you with arms wide. You didn't have a chance to respond or move before she had you in her embrace, squeezing you tightly as she continued, “I'm Hanji! Let's get along well, okay? We'll be great friends!”

“I told you not to be so rude, didn't I?” Erwin hooked a finger into the back of Hanji's jacket, prying her off of you as you continued to stand stock still.

“I was just introducing myself~” The woman pouted as Erwin released her collar, turning his attention towards you.

“I'm sorry, ____. You don't have to be frightened by her, okay?”

_Frightened?_ Hell yes, you were frightened. This woman you had just met had glued herself to you before even getting to her name. What the hell was going on?

_She's not... scared of me?_

This was the second time now that you were met with eyes that didn't hold fear as they looked at you. Just what kind of place was this “Survey Corps”?

The fact that not only was this woman not looking at you with fear or contempt of any kind, she actually wanted to befriend you? You could practically feel your knees shake.

You were scared, but didn't want to miss the opportunity. It'd been much to long since you had someone you could refer to as a “friend”, after all.

“I-I'm ____! It's n-nice to meet you!” You spoke much more loudly than you had planned, bringing the conversation you hadn't been paying attention to into a dead halt. The palms of your hands were covered in sweat as your eyes made their way across the room, glancing over the unfamiliar faces staring back at you. The silence of the room mixed with the variety of eyes locked on yours seemed to last hours. You shifted uncomfortably, trying to focus only on Erwin. Your eyes locked with his and you weren't sure if he could see the fear on your face as clearly as you felt it. Feeling your eyes begin to tear slightly, you clamped them shut in a hurry.

“____? It's okay, you're fine.” Erwin took a step towards you, his large hand resting on the top of your head. He bent his face closer to yours.

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-” You quickly stopped speaking when you realized how much your voice shook, rubbing furiously at your eyes. You weren't even sure Erwin heard you well enough.

“I'm sorry, ____. I didn't mean to scare you...” Hanji spoke up apologetically, seemingly a little confused by the situation.

“Ah, no, I'm sorry!” You replied with small glances of eye contact before turning to Erwin, “I'm okay, I promise.”

“Are you sure? I can have them come back another time if you're not feeling up to it...” Erwin's expression didn't change but you could tell you had probably shocked him with your reaction, as well.

“I'm sure. I'm sorry, It's just nerves, really.” You felt embarrassed. No wonder Erwin saw you as a kid, huh? A normal adult probably wouldn't tear up over a situation like that.

After a few moments of silence, Erwin finally responded, “Why don't you take a seat? I'll help you through, so don't worry.”

Motioning you towards the desk, he signaled something to the group behind him that you didn't quite catch. As you took a seat, however, you noticed the crowd begin to thin out suddenly as soldiers began to leave the room. Had he gotten rid of them for your sake? As the door closed behind the men, you were left with Erwin, Hanji, and three strangers. A manageable number, at least.

“Well, Hanji's made her introduction, huh? I guess you can go next, Mike.” At the Erwin's prompt, the tallest of the group stepped forward.

“H-hello?” You didn't know if you should start when the man Erwin had to referred to as Mike didn't speak up. But the way he advanced towards you sure as hell didn't it make it easy. You glanced towards Erwin for clarification just in time to catch him bringing his hand to his face.

“____.” The blonde's voice was practically a whisper as he called your name, leaning towards you. It seemed more as if he was saying it to himself than actually calling for you, honestly. You backed up as his face approached yours.

“Y-yes?” You stumbled out an answer when he leaned closer once more. His eyes bore into yours as the gap between you became smaller by the second. His gaze was sharp but not pointed. Again, there didn't seem to be fear in his eyes as he approached. At the very least, it didn't seem as if he was going to attack you. Erwin had promised no one would hurt you, as well.

_Who – what is this person-?_ You were panicking at the proximity of the unknown male. Did everyone in the Survey Corps have to get so close when they were greeting you? Maybe it was a custom you were unaware of? As your mind raced, you recalled that adults around you would often hug and kiss in greeting. Were you supposed to do that as well?

Unable to sort through your thoughts in time, you clamped your eyes shut half in confusion and half in fear as the male's face was now dangerously close to your own. You could feel his breath hit your skin as you tried to brace yourself for what would come next.

A pause. You snapped your eyes open, unable to understand what was going on without visual confirmation.

_He's... sniffing me? He's smelling me?_

You had seen similar actions when watching the some of the animals you came across from time to time but... you definitely didn't remember this being a greeting for humans that you'd ever heard of before. There was no way things had really changed that much since you had been gone, right?

“It's okay, ____. He won't hurt you.” Perhaps sensing your panic, Erwin spoke up as the other man's face hovered just over your neck. You could feel yourself tense as his breath hit your skin; turning red when you heard the inhale.

“He has a weird thing for sniffing people when he first meets them, but he's harmless. Relax, okay?” Hanji added words of support, smiling in your direction.

You gave a small nod, trying to keep calm. _I'm not exactly the most normal of the bunch, either, I guess..._

Attempting to relax a little, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath. Unfortunately you didn't account for how close the taller blonde was to your skin, though.

You backed away instinctively when you felt the faint brush of lips just beside your collarbone.

“Ah, I'm-” You began to apologize when the man stood up straight, cutting your trail of thought short with a small smirk.

“Mike Zacharius.” In what was perhaps the strangest greeting you had seen thus far, Mike turned away from you before you had a chance to respond. Without another word he took a spot a few feet off to the side, quietly crossing his arms as he leaned against the wall.

“Erwin?” You turned your attention, “What- I mean, is everyone-?” Your words were just as rattled as you felt.

Erwin spoke with a small sigh, not offering a response. “Nanaba...” 

“You're fine. You just had the misfortune of meeting the two weirdos back-to-back.” Another voice cut in, “I'm Nanaba. It's nice to meet you.”

“Ah, right! I'm ____! It's nice to meet you, too!” You responded to the normal greeting in your best attempt to be casual. You couldn't deny the fact that the previous encounters had left you feeling a bit stiff, though.

Well, that, and the whole solitude thing, of course.

“Don't lump me in with Mike!” Hanji gave protest to the smaller blonde called Nanaba. When her attention turned away from you and towards Hanji, you glanced towards the remaining solider. The smallest of the bunch with eyes you couldn't read. He didn't seem to notice as he kept his arms folded, not even glancing back at you.

“You're the only one left, Levi.” Erwin spoke towards the other man who only gave a brief flicker of his gaze in acknowledgement. 

The man turned his eyes towards you, keeping his arms crossed against his chest. “I'm Levi.”

“Ah – right, I'm ____. It's nice to meet you...?” You were caught off guard by the two words he offered, his expression unchanged. He gave a hum in response, apparently done with speaking for the time being.

Apparently you weren't the only one lacking social skills in the room.

“They're all squad leaders.” Erwin spoke up, facing towards you once more, “You can speak to them when I'm not around, okay?”

“O-okay.” You couldn't help but think how hard it would be to approach any of them without Erwin around, though. Three out of the four didn't seem particularly inclined to conversation, either.

“I trust them, ____. So can you.” Erwin reassured once more, seemingly not convinced by your meek affirmation.

_Well, one of them seems normal enough, at least..._

You gave a nod, “I understand.”

“Then let's get started – there's a lot to discuss.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I'm back! Reader meets some of the squad leaders in this chapter. It goes... well? Depending on your definition. Also, I apologize for this update taking a while. I've been debating something for a little while and I have yet to come to a decision. I decided to end this chapter here so that I could bring my question to you - if you're interested, of course.
> 
> When I started this series, I said that I wouldn't have Eren and the others show up in this series. Now that I'm a little further in and have been playing with ideas, I don't know if that's the best idea anymore or not. So I'd like to ask what others think on the topic. I can't promise anything, honestly, but I would love to hear your opinion if you want to share!
> 
> Last, thank you for reading and I hope you like this chapter too, even though it lacks a little in Erwin.


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